Not So Much

I put out sunflower seeds for the birds but sometimes it's not the birds that eat the seeds but the two squirrels that run the tree in the back yard. Does it bother me? Not so much. That's how people say it today, "not so much." Even my granddaughter Bella says, "not so much." I think it caught on because it's a good way to make a negative expression take on an almost positive twist, but not so much.

I'm not sure why I'm writing about this because I have so many thoughts I want to express but have not been ready to sit down and put them in print. My in-laws are in a sad state. Darren is traveling back and forth to their home in Mississippi on a regular basis. It's wearing on  him not only because of the pain of his parent's demise, but also  because of the lack of direction they are willing to take right now to change it. The distressful interactions involving dementia mixed with insanity that are taking place between two people who have lived together for over fifty years is not driving his parent's choices; instead, it is a value system that doesn't fit the unfortunate and unpredictable state of affairs in which my father-in-law's deteriorating mind has placed them.. Old patterns are the brain's default in spite of changed events. Habits of negativity and old grudges don't go away under duress. They evolve into demons when love leaves the room.

It  causes me to wonder how our nation has spent billions of dollars on longevity with an obsessive value on  youth, leaving us with a horrendous gap in knowledge and understanding of the multiple faces of old-age dementia. It appears with the push for youth and longevity that our nation values life, but right now as I sit and write this, these words come to mind, "not so much."

If you pray, please pray for my husband's family. God's grace is sufficient for even the saddest of situations.
Peace. Love, Linda